|
|
A good one lol
What do you get when you cross an onion and a donkey? ... |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/9/2010 12:54 pm |
|
|
THE LAWN MOWER
A preacher was making his rounds on a bicycle, when he came
upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower. "How
much do you want for the mower?" asked the preacher.
"I just want enough money to go ... |
1 |
21 |
3 |
3.43 |
9/9/2010 2:52 am |
|
|
Top 10 Most Overused...
(okay, wait...I think I described myself as "fun-loving!
Ahhhhhhhhhh, fuck ME! )
Top Ten Most Overused Phrases In Personal Ads
Below is a list of the Top Ten Most Overused ... |
2 |
25 |
1 |
2.40 |
9/8/2010 7:17 pm |
|
|
Cash for clunkers !
Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash
for clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.
... |
2 |
35 |
17 |
2.56 |
9/7/2010 10:10 am |
|
|
Lunch with a convicted felon ! ?
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted
felon?
A: A fund raiser. ... |
0 |
20 |
11 |
0.36 |
9/7/2010 10:09 am |
|
|
Bo !
Q: What's the difference between Obama and his
dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers. ... |
0 |
17 |
11 |
0.92 |
9/7/2010 10:08 am |
|
|
What's the difference ! ?
What's the difference between Obama's cabinet
and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats
to society.
The other is for housing prisoners. ... |
0 |
17 |
12 |
0.86 |
9/7/2010 10:06 am |
|
|
If I were to die ---
A wife asks her husband, if I were to die tommorow would
you re-marry? Yes the husband replies, I am a young man and
I can't imagine life alone for the rest of my many years.
Would you live in this ... |
1 |
56 |
8 |
3.01 |
9/7/2010 7:57 am |
|
|
halloween
There once was a man with a bald head and a pegleg who was in
need of a kickin' Halloween costume. So he wrote to
a costume company, who promptly sent him a bandana and a
hook so he could be a ... |
1 |
37 |
4 |
1.69 |
9/7/2010 3:21 am |
|
|
flight attendant
The plane's cabin was being served by an obviously
gay flight attendant who was just as obviously enjoying himself.
He came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain
Marvey ... |
1 |
51 |
6 |
3.37 |
9/7/2010 3:15 am |
|
|
paraprosdokian
Ø I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that
way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level
and beat ... |
0 |
26 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/7/2010 3:05 am |
|
|
a parrot named Chet
A man walks into a pet shop around Christmas time. The shop-owner
asks if he can help. The man tells him that he is looking for
a gift for his wife but he is not having any luck. He has been
allover ... |
1 |
71 |
4 |
2.47 |
9/6/2010 11:09 am |
|
|
The half a head of lettuce
A young man was working in the produce department when a
gentleman asked if he could get a half a head of lettuce.
The young man replied that he didn't know, and would
have to check with the boss. ... |
1 |
75 |
6 |
3.08 |
9/6/2010 10:35 am |
|
|
One more time
A firefighter was working on the engine outside the station,
when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon
with little ladders hung off the sides, and a garden hose
tightly coiled in the ... |
3 |
76 |
8 |
4.64 |
9/6/2010 5:13 am |
|
|
U might be a Redneck "IF"
> 1. You think "loading the dishwasher"
means getting your wife drunk. > 2. You ever cut your grass and found a car. > 3. You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.
> 4. You think the ... |
2 |
48 |
4 |
0.14 |
9/6/2010 3:51 am |
|
|
McDonald's' new Value Meal !
Q Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama
Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay
for it. ... |
0 |
32 |
9 |
1.29 |
9/5/2010 4:30 pm |
|
|
Obama-care !
America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a
Halloween mask. ... |
0 |
17 |
3 |
2.45 |
9/5/2010 4:29 pm |
|
|
sick but funny joke...
"A girlfriend and boyfriend are talking. The girlfriend
says to the boyfriend, 'Jimmy, how do you spell pedophilia?'
The boyfriend looks at her in amazement. 'Gosh, honey, '
he says 'that's an ... |
2 |
96 |
9 |
0.86 |
9/5/2010 2:41 pm |
|
|
Rodeo Position
Two guys in a bar are discussing "positions"
so one tells the other, "Well my favorite is the rodeo!"
and the other says, "What's the rodeo?"
"well, first you get your wife down and ... |
3 |
78 |
11 |
5.41 |
9/5/2010 2:06 pm |
|
|
Afternoon Quickie
Joe and Wanda had a small apartment in the city and they decided
that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie
with their ten-year-old son in the apartment was to send
him out on the ... |
1 |
73 |
2 |
3.12 |
9/5/2010 2:01 pm |
|
|
Check your Dirty IQ!
Questions:
1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask
you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?
2. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when ... |
2 |
66 |
4 |
2.47 |
9/5/2010 1:58 pm |
|
|
Difference Between Men and Women
1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay
$1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about ... |
0 |
40 |
2 |
2.42 |
9/5/2010 1:54 pm |
|
|
10 Ways to Know You've Had Good Sex
1. Your mattress has turned into a giant sponge.
2. It takes five minutes to unknot your bodies.
3. An earthquake of 3.4 on the Richter Scale is recorded
in your area.
4. ... |
1 |
29 |
4 |
4.80 |
9/5/2010 1:50 pm |
|
|
Math Lesson
A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read:
"Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years
old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able
to satisfy. I am ... |
0 |
39 |
5 |
5.43 |
9/5/2010 1:29 pm |
|
|
what women would do if they had a penis for a day
10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.
9. Get a blow job.
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a ... |
0 |
25 |
1 |
2.40 |
9/5/2010 1:19 pm |
|
|
What men would do if they had a vagina for a day
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's ... |
1 |
31 |
2 |
2.42 |
9/5/2010 1:17 pm |
|
|
IRISH GIRL
IRISH GIRL
The Irish girl knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless
me, Father, for I have sinned."
"What is it, child?"
The girl said, "Father, I have committed the sin ... |
0 |
67 |
2 |
3.12 |
9/5/2010 4:03 am |
|
|
JONAH'S FATE
A little girl spoke to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale
to swallow a human because even though it is a very large
mammal, its throat is ... |
0 |
51 |
4 |
3.25 |
9/5/2010 3:58 am |
|
|
MISSIONARY SOUP
Two missionaries in Africa get apprehended by a tribe of
very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water.
They build a huge fire under it, and leave them there. A few
minutes later, one ... |
0 |
42 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/5/2010 3:56 am |
|
|
Couple short ones
BAR... DUCKMAN
A man walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender
says, "May I help you, sir?"
The duck says, "Yeah. Help me get this human out of
my ass."
... |
0 |
31 |
1 |
1.10 |
9/5/2010 3:54 am |
|
|
TWO TROUBLE MAKERS - one more time
A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10.
They were always getting into trouble, and their parents
knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their
sons would get the blame. ... |
0 |
39 |
2 |
2.42 |
9/5/2010 3:52 am |
|
|
CONTRACT WITH THE DEVIL
An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when
the Devil appeared before him.
The Devil told the lawyer, "I have a proposition for
you. You can win every case you try, for the ... |
0 |
45 |
1 |
2.40 |
9/5/2010 3:50 am |
|
|
HOLEY ICE CUBES
HOLEY ICE CUBES
Paddy O'Shea got friendly with some of the local Boston
Irish and they took him to an upscale "Irish"
pub.
"Amazin', just amazin', that's what
America is, " he said, ... |
0 |
37 |
1 |
2.40 |
9/5/2010 3:46 am |
|
|
RESEARCH BUSH
RESEARCH BUSH
A researcher called G. W. Bush house in Austin.
G. W was sleeping in late and was awaken by the call.
He was half-asleep when he answered the phone.
... |
0 |
29 |
3 |
2.45 |
9/5/2010 3:45 am |
BJoely, 66 M
9/4/2010 11:49 pm
1
Article,
Score
3.3
|
|
Johnny came in to school late one morning......
Johnny came in to school late one morning. His teacher looked
at him and saw that he was really exhausted and told him to
just take his seat.
But all day long Johnny kept nodding off and ... |
2 |
61 |
7 |
3.30 |
9/4/2010 11:49 pm |
|
|
COURT TRANSCRIPTS - One more time
KEEPING A STRAIGHT FACE AS A COURT REPORTER These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts,
and are things people actually said in court, word for word,
taken down and now published by ... |
0 |
64 |
4 |
4.41 |
9/4/2010 7:55 am |
|
|
bar none
> The best lawyer story of all time . . . bar none. > > The United Way realized that it had never received
a donation from the > city's most successful lawyer. So a United Way
volunteer paid ... |
0 |
45 |
3 |
2.94 |
9/4/2010 7:52 am |
mtndou, 51 F
9/3/2010 4:42 pm
9
Articles,
Score
3.4
|
|
Job Opening: Gynecologist's Assistant
A retired man went into the Job Center in Downtown Denver,
and saw an advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant.
Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details.
... |
4 |
103 |
9 |
3.43 |
9/3/2010 4:42 pm |
|
|
Truck driver !
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed
a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the
bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged
under it. Cars are ... |
3 |
98 |
20 |
0.00 |
9/3/2010 6:46 am |
mchawi, 51 M
9/3/2010 3:05 am
1
Article,
Score
4.9
|
|
Black gamble
I went in the this bar ordered a pint of beer and sat at the
bar drinking it. Another man comes in and says to the barman "usual
please and a black gamble" the barman gives him his drink and a key. ... |
1 |
72 |
10 |
3.58 |
9/3/2010 3:05 am |
|
|
The Indian With One Testicle !
There once was an Indian who had only one testicle and whose
given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name
and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.
After years and years of torment, ... |
0 |
83 |
14 |
1.06 |
9/2/2010 2:16 pm |
|
|
Red tomatoes !
A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't
seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking
a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the
most beautiful garden ... |
0 |
80 |
13 |
1.47 |
9/2/2010 2:02 pm |
|
|
Church Social !
I lost the trivia contest at the church social
last night by one point. The last question was, "Where
do most women have curly hair?
Apparently the correct answer is, "Africa." ... |
1 |
46 |
13 |
1.13 |
9/2/2010 1:56 pm |
|
|
Timbucktoo
In this town Timbucktoo, there is a contest each year. The
contest is to see who could tell the best poem. Each year
the town drunk would win the contest. There was a professor
that lived in that ... |
1 |
59 |
7 |
2.79 |
9/2/2010 1:53 pm |
|
|
Mythical and Deep
A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name.
He replied, "She called Five Horses". The man said, "That's an unusual name for your
wife. What does it mean?" The Old Indian answered, "It ... |
0 |
80 |
6 |
3.08 |
9/2/2010 10:52 am |
|
|
Mood Ring
My husband being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me
a mood ring the other day so that he may monitor my moods.
We've discovered that when I am in a good mood, it turns
green. When I am in a bad ... |
1 |
79 |
10 |
4.98 |
9/2/2010 10:48 am |
|
|
good girls/bad girls
Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"...
Bad girls say, "whats for breakfast?"
Good girls never go after another girls man... Bad girls
go after him AND his brother.
... |
0 |
39 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/2/2010 9:11 am |
|
|
little red riding hood
Little red riding hood was walking through the woods when
suddenly the big bad wolf jumped out from behind a tree.
bitch, i'm going to cut your head off!, he screamed,
holding a knife to her throat. ... |
2 |
72 |
6 |
3.37 |
9/2/2010 6:49 am |
|
|
sorry hun.
Helga was lying in bed reading a book when her husband, norm,
strolled in with a big smile on his face and a massive stiffy
in his shorts. He jumped under the sheets and started to
kiss his wife ... |
2 |
76 |
9 |
1.29 |
9/2/2010 6:32 am |
|
|
the blind guy.
A blind bloke was walking down the street when his guide
dog stopped and pissed all over his leg. He reached into
his pocket for a biscuit and gave it to the dog. A little girl
walked by, smiled, and ... |
1 |
58 |
4 |
1.30 |
9/2/2010 6:25 am |
|
|
Snowmen
What is the difference between and Snowman and a Snowwoman? ... |
1 |
63 |
8 |
0.70 |
9/2/2010 1:01 am |
|
|
Deaf Sex
Deaf Sex
Two deaf people get married and during the first week of
marriage they find that they are unable to communicate
in the bedroom with the lights out, since they can't
read lips, or ... |
3 |
92 |
13 |
4.99 |
9/1/2010 9:07 pm |
|
|
Are my testicles black?
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an
oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.
A young, student nurse comes in the room, to give him a partial
sponge bath. ...
|
0 |
62 |
6 |
5.07 |
9/1/2010 9:02 pm |
|
|
How to Tell the Sex of a Fly !
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her Husband stalking
around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh! Killing ... |
0 |
71 |
15 |
1.29 |
9/1/2010 4:21 pm |
|
|
The Defective Parrot !
A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting
on a little perch.It doesn't have any feet or legs.
The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened
to this parrot.?' ... |
0 |
55 |
14 |
1.70 |
9/1/2010 4:10 pm |
|
|
Hunting
A husband suspected his wife was fooling around
on him, so he devised a way to spy on her. He told the wife that
he and his buddy were going hunting for the weekend. He packed
up his ... |
2 |
87 |
10 |
1.99 |
9/1/2010 2:28 pm |
|
|
Mourning
An elderly woman walked downstairs one morning to find
her husband dressed in black. The look on his face was of
complete loss. His eyes were watery and he could do nothing
but stare. Worried as to ... |
1 |
73 |
7 |
0.49 |
9/1/2010 9:50 am |
|
|
Italian Virginity Test Kit
Mario is planning to marry and asks his family doctor how he could tell if his bride-to-be
is still a virgin.
His doctor says, "Mario, all the Italian men I know use three things
for what we ... |
0 |
80 |
6 |
4.79 |
9/1/2010 3:12 am |
|
|
Robin Hood in the making
Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound
bow beginner kits.
Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking
arrows in anything that could get stuck by an ... |
1 |
81 |
6 |
5.36 |
9/1/2010 2:10 am |
|
|
Ground Zero
If it is true that the idea of a mosque near Ground Zero is
to promote tolerance:
It has been suggested that a gay nightclub be open next door
to the mosque.
Two names proposed for ... |
0 |
54 |
10 |
5.97 |
9/1/2010 2:04 am |
|
|
Blackberry
When I bought my Blackberry I thought about the 30-year
business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone
that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates
with Facebook and ... |
0 |
46 |
2 |
2.42 |
9/1/2010 2:02 am |
|
|
Ed Wright
An attorney comes home one evening after a very difficult
day of filing appeals for his client, Ed Wright, who is scheduled
to be hung later that evening at the local prison. He walks
into the house ... |
3 |
73 |
8 |
3.01 |
8/31/2010 7:37 pm |
|
|
$20
TWENTY DOLLARS
On their wedding night, the young bride Approached her new husband and asked For $20.00 for their first lovemaking Encounter. In his highly aroused state, Her husband readily ... |
5 |
114 |
15 |
4.36 |
8/31/2010 6:50 pm |
|
|
bill gates and co.
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical
malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic
navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the ... |
1 |
58 |
7 |
2.02 |
8/31/2010 6:21 am |
|
|
Touching Golf Story
Greg stood over his tee shot on the 450 yard 18th hole for
what seemed an eternity. He waggled, looked up, looked
down, waggled again, but didn't start his back swing..
Finally his ... |
0 |
55 |
8 |
3.25 |
8/30/2010 5:38 pm |
|
|
Women over 40
Women over 40
1. A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the
night and ask, "What are you thinking?" She
doesn't care what you think.
2. If a woman over 40 ... |
0 |
78 |
10 |
1.79 |
8/30/2010 11:59 am |
|
|
Attorney & the doctor !
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you
performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.... |
0 |
45 |
10 |
1.19 |
8/30/2010 9:12 am |
|
|
Said in court !
ATTORNEY: Doctor, do you recall the time that you examined
the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: ... |
0 |
47 |
9 |
0.86 |
8/30/2010 9:10 am |
|
|
Building Permit !
A man recently submitted a building permit application
for a new house.
It was going to be 100 ft. tall and 400 ft. wide with 9 gun turrets
at various heights and windows all over the ... |
0 |
62 |
7 |
4.06 |
8/30/2010 8:25 am |
|
|
Joke
When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for
Chuck ... |
0 |
33 |
2 |
2.42 |
8/30/2010 7:53 am |
|
|
Joke
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At ... |
0 |
22 |
2 |
0.00 |
8/30/2010 7:53 am |
|
|
Joke
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't
nearly foolish enough to attack ... |
0 |
8 |
1 |
0.00 |
8/30/2010 7:52 am |
|
|
Joke
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck
Norris ... |
0 |
4 |
1 |
0.00 |
8/30/2010 7:52 am |
|
|
Joke
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no
such thing as protection from Chuck ... |
0 |
9 |
1 |
0.00 |
8/30/2010 7:51 am |
|
|
Three Holy Men and a Bear
THREE HOLY MEN AND A BEAR
A Priest, a Pentecostal Preacher, and a Rabbi all served
as Chaplains to the students
of Northern Michigan University in Marquette . They would
get ... |
1 |
51 |
7 |
2.79 |
8/30/2010 6:33 am |
|
|
Fair and Balanced
Fox's motto is "Fair and Balanced".
Do you know what that really means?
Fair - color of their woman news reporter's hair, in
other words, blond; it also refers to their IQ, not ...
|
2 |
47 |
11 |
0.00 |
8/29/2010 10:47 am |
|
|
E. D. Solution
On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his
wife. The certificate paid for a visit to an Cherokee medicine man
living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure ... |
5 |
104 |
19 |
3.65 |
8/29/2010 7:36 am |
|
|
Dear Mom,
Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you
saw the flood on TV and got worried. We are okay. Only one
of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily,
none of us got ... |
1 |
72 |
9 |
4.49 |
8/29/2010 4:30 am |
|
|
she got an F in sex ....
A Mom is driving her little girl to a friends house for a
play date. Mommy, the little girl asks, how old are
you?
Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age, the ... |
1 |
72 |
8 |
2.55 |
8/28/2010 6:54 pm |
|
|
. the period .
A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find
out about something exciting and relate it to the class
the next day. When the time came to present what they'd
found, the first little boy ... |
1 |
57 |
6 |
2.23 |
8/28/2010 6:44 pm |
|
|
lil johnny fights cavities....
Mum walked into the bathroom one day & found young Johnny
furiously scrubbing his penis with a toothbrush and toothpaste.
"What the hell do you think you're doing, young
man!" she exclaimed. "Don't ... |
1 |
66 |
5 |
2.82 |
8/28/2010 6:41 pm |
|
|
lil jill
A City cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when
a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him. "Nice
bike, " the cop said "did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yep, " the little girl ... |
1 |
50 |
5 |
2.82 |
8/28/2010 6:39 pm |
|
|
lil justin
Young Justin has a cursing problem, and his fathers getting
tired of it.
He decides to ask a shrink what to do. The shrink says, Negative
reinforcement. Since Christmas is coming up, ask ... |
1 |
51 |
4 |
2.47 |
8/28/2010 6:38 pm |
|
|
the twinkie
A little girl goes to the barbershop with her father. While
her dad is getting his hair cut, the girl begins eating a
snack cake. While she's eating, she walks over and
stands right next to the ... |
1 |
54 |
3 |
2.45 |
8/28/2010 6:33 pm |
|
|
the confession
There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession.
Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive
me, Father, for I have sinned.' The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be ...
|
1 |
55 |
3 |
1.47 |
8/28/2010 6:30 pm |
|
|
GREAT JOB
A guy came home to his wife and said to her:
"Guess what? I've found a great job. A 10 AM start,
2 PM finish, no overtime, no weekends and it pays $600 a week!"
"That's great, " his ... |
1 |
82 |
6 |
1.94 |
8/28/2010 5:41 am |
|
|
AL GORE - EXPLAINED
On July 8, 1947, witnesses claim a spaceship with five aliens
aboard crashed on a sheep-and-cattle ranch outside Roswell,
an incident they say has been covered up by the military.
March 31, ... |
2 |
55 |
2 |
2.42 |
8/28/2010 5:40 am |
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BLONDE WITH 2 HORSES
A blonde had two horses, but she couldn't tell them
apart. So she asked her neighbor for advice. He suggested
that she cut the tail off one of the horses.
This worked until the other horse ... |
0 |
70 |
2 |
3.12 |
8/28/2010 5:39 am |
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MEXICAN HURRICANE............
A CATEGORY 5 HURRICANE hits Mexico
Two million Mexicans die and over a million are injured.
The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't
know where to start and is ... |
1 |
55 |
9 |
4.71 |
8/28/2010 5:28 am |
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written by kids
1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like,
if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports,
and she should keep the chips ... |
0 |
37 |
2 |
4.50 |
8/28/2010 5:07 am |
ind610, 28 M
8/28/2010 2:17 am
2
Articles,
Score
0.0
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Excuse Me Sir, Your Fly Is Unzipped
1. "The cucumber has left the salad."
2. "Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd
is hanging out."
3. "Your soldier ain't so unknown now."
4. "Quasimodo needs to go ... |
1 |
38 |
5 |
2.82 |
8/28/2010 2:17 am |
ind610, 28 M
8/28/2010 2:12 am
2
Articles,
Score
0.0
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the perfect day - her and his versions of
The Perfect Day - Her
8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses 9:00 5 lbs lighter on the scale 9:30 Light Breakfast 11:00 Sunbathe 12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe 1:45 Shopping 2:30 Run ... |
1 |
38 |
4 |
2.08 |
8/28/2010 2:12 am |
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WALKING THE DOG
WALKING THE DOG
A WOMAN was flying from Melbourne to Brisbane. Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sydney Along the way. The flight attendant explained that There would be a ... |
2 |
95 |
19 |
3.78 |
8/26/2010 7:10 pm |
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Mr. Ching
A Chinese guy goes for a job interview at a factory. The owner
offers him a job. "Ok, Mr. Ching, you're in charge
of supplies." A few hours later, the boss is wandering
around looking for Mr. Ching, ... |
2 |
84 |
6 |
2.51 |
8/26/2010 1:57 pm |
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Confucius Say
Man who scratch ass Should not bite fingernails. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who eat many Prunes get good run for money. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Baseball is wrong: Man with four balls cannot walk. ... |
2 |
44 |
4 |
3.25 |
8/26/2010 3:22 am |
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Three Women
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks
and talking about their sex lives. Karen said, "I
call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like
he does." Joanne giggled and ... |
1 |
122 |
12 |
4.21 |
8/25/2010 6:33 pm |
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What a man hears
What a woman says...
This place is a mess! C'mon! You and I need to clean up! Your stuff is lying on the floor and You'll have no clothes to wear if we don't do laundry right now!
... |
1 |
72 |
3 |
3.43 |
8/25/2010 6:28 pm |
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Condom Shopping
A guy goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The girl behind
the counter says, "What size?"
He says, "I don't know."
She holds up a finger and says, "That big?"
He says, ... |
2 |
110 |
9 |
2.36 |
8/25/2010 6:27 pm |
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How Old
1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under
the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd
done many times before. After she applied her lipstick
and started to leave, the ... |
1 |
106 |
2 |
3.81 |
8/25/2010 5:12 pm |
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Alabama !
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired
off in twos for the day.
That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering
under the weight of an eight-point buck. ... |
0 |
73 |
5 |
2.82 |
8/25/2010 10:00 am |
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Texas !
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage
out of his pick-up into the ditch.
The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in
the ditch? Don't you see that sign right ... |
0 |
80 |
2 |
2.42 |
8/25/2010 9:58 am |
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Tennessee !
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-40.
The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?" ... |
0 |
63 |
3 |
3.92 |
8/25/2010 9:57 am |
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North Carolina !
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on
the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers
in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the
car to ... |
0 |
69 |
3 |
4.41 |
8/25/2010 9:56 am |
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Georgia !
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about
paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for
some mathematical help. He called her into his office and
said, "You graduated ... |
0 |
55 |
5 |
3.47 |
8/25/2010 9:55 am |
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Taliban want's the Arizona Immigration law repealed!
This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan, the Taliban
Minister of Migration, Mohammed Omar, warned the United
States that if Arizona's Immigration Law is not repealed;
Taliban ... |
3 |
76 |
14 |
3.78 |
8/25/2010 9:52 am |
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rubber tubing
A piece of rubber tubing walks into a bar and the bartender
says, "Sorry, we don't serve hose ... |
1 |
55 |
8 |
0.47 |
8/25/2010 7:40 am |
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LAWYER'S PERSONAL INJURY
A golfer hooked his tee shot over a hill and onto the next
fairway. Walking toward his ball, he saw a man lying on the
ground, groaning with pain.
"I'm an attorney, " the wincing man said, ... |
0 |
58 |
2 |
3.81 |
8/25/2010 3:06 am |
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DEAR AGONY AUNT
Dear Editor,
I have two brothers, one works at Microsoft, the other was
sentenced to death in the gas chamber.
My mother died of insanity when I was three years old, my
two sisters ... |
0 |
64 |
3 |
3.92 |
8/25/2010 3:04 am |
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sex with a Chinese prostitute in Hong Kong
On having business trip to the Orient, Joe decided to spend
his last night having wild sex with a Chinese prostitute
in Hong Kong.
Upon returning home three weeks later, he noticed a very ... |
0 |
76 |
2 |
4.50 |
8/25/2010 3:02 am |
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the apprentice salesman
A young man from Minnesota moves to Florida and goes to a
big "everything under one roof" department
store looking for a job.
The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"
The kid ... |
1 |
90 |
7 |
4.82 |
8/24/2010 6:15 pm |
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the endangered
A hiker gets lost in the woods and spends the next two days
wandering around with no food. Finally, he spots a bald
eagle on a ledge, hits it with a big rock, and begins eating
it raw.
A ... |
3 |
74 |
10 |
3.19 |
8/24/2010 5:41 pm |
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the firemen
A fire starts inside a chemical plant and the alarm goes
out to fire departments miles around. After crews have
been fighting the fire for over an hour, the chemical company
president approached the ... |
1 |
63 |
4 |
2.86 |
8/24/2010 5:29 pm |
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the DEA agent
A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on
the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and
put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next
to the man. The first man ... |
1 |
59 |
4 |
2.08 |
8/24/2010 5:21 pm |
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physicicans visit
A streetwalker was visiting her doctor for a regular checkup.
"Any specific problems you should tell me about?"
the doctor asked.
"Well, I have noticed lately that if I get even ...
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1 |
60 |
3 |
1.96 |
8/24/2010 4:57 pm |
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the job interview
At the end of a job interview, the head of human resources
asks the young engineer fresh out of MIT, "What starting
salary were you looking for?"
The engineer decides to shoot for the moon. ... |
1 |
62 |
8 |
2.78 |
8/24/2010 4:51 pm |
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vehicular negligence
Rush Limbaugh and his chauffeur were out driving in the
country and accidentally hit and killed a pig that had wandered
out on a country road.
Limbaugh told the chauffeur to drive up to the ... |
2 |
50 |
9 |
3.00 |
8/24/2010 4:48 pm |
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The Mississippi witness !
The young man from Mississippi came running into the
store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just
stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it ... |
0 |
58 |
7 |
1.51 |
8/24/2010 2:52 pm |
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the reanch hand....(an oldie but goodie)
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted
wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined
to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching,
so she decided to place an ... |
1 |
59 |
5 |
2.49 |
8/24/2010 2:46 pm |
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a day at the beach
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing
nothing.
One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get horny?"
The other replies, "Oh sure I do."
The first old lady asks, ... |
1 |
65 |
7 |
1.51 |
8/24/2010 2:02 pm |
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Naked Dress
A young girl gets married and a few days later her mother
goes to visit. When she knocks on the door, she is shocked
to see her daughter open it naked. "What are you doing?"
she asks. "Mom, it's my ... |
0 |
93 |
7 |
1.77 |
8/23/2010 7:52 pm |
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Its the world's biggest dick!
It's the worlds biggest dick!
Do whatever you want with it, just dont bite ... |
3 |
90 |
17 |
0.00 |
8/23/2010 7:49 pm |
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Date Twist
A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance
from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped.
"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but
I'm actually ... |
0 |
87 |
4 |
3.63 |
8/23/2010 6:18 pm |
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Man goes to a whorehouse
A man goes to a whorehouse, selects a hooker, and takes her
to the room. He then starts chomping away on her pussy.
All of a sudden, he notices some undigested carrots in his
mouth. ... |
0 |
70 |
2 |
0.00 |
8/23/2010 5:22 pm |
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Two guys are talking in the pub
Two guys are talking in the pub. 'Hey, ' says one, 'you wouldn't believe
what happened to me last night.' 'What was that?' says the other. 'Well, I was walking home and found this woman tied
to the ... |
0 |
68 |
4 |
2.08 |
8/23/2010 5:21 pm |
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Man, Hooker, Motel Room
This man took a hooker into a motel room They exchanged money and began to have sex When the man was having sex his penis hurt...He felt like
something was clawing at him. He stopped having sex and ... |
1 |
87 |
8 |
0.47 |
8/23/2010 5:20 pm |
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<3 sex
>>! who wats 2 fuck all nite long ... |
2 |
51 |
7 |
0.24 |
8/23/2010 4:21 am |
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Newfie Joke
Two Newfies walk into a pet shop in St. John's and walk
over to the bird section and Gerry says to George, 'Dat's
dem.' The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.
'Yeah, we'll take four of ... |
2 |
77 |
10 |
0.40 |
8/22/2010 7:58 pm |
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So...
So... If your mom is a dishwasher, and your dad is a dryer,
how many dog houses can u fit in the refrigerator?
None you idiot. Pancakes can't ... |
2 |
61 |
9 |
0.00 |
8/22/2010 7:06 pm |
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I WISH
Two guys were walking along a road when one points out a dog
who is licking his private parts.
One guy says, "Oh man, I wish I could do that!".
Then the other guy says, "Well, I ... |
0 |
55 |
0 |
0.00 |
8/22/2010 4:35 pm |
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The answer is in the sea
A slightly retarded farmer has a farm up the coast of California.
Unfortunately, there are no women around. He gets rather
desperate, and decides to try out an old mule. He puts a stepladder
behind ... |
0 |
68 |
4 |
2.86 |
8/22/2010 5:45 am |
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Kids and Condoms
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year-old son. They
happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What
are these, Dad?
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those ... |
8 |
190 |
27 |
3.45 |
8/21/2010 12:10 am |
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Boob Job
There was a woman who was interested in getting a boob job
so she went to her doctor, Dr. Smith, and questioned him
about implants.
Dr. Smith explained that 'before you do anything too ... |
1 |
120 |
10 |
2.59 |
8/20/2010 11:32 pm |
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THE NUN AT HOOTERS
THE NUN AT HOOTERS
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local
Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation
and every once in a while "the ... |
1 |
128 |
13 |
2.64 |
8/20/2010 11:17 pm |
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After a long night of passion
After a long night of passion, the young guy rolled over,
pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his
lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one
at hand.
... |
1 |
103 |
8 |
3.01 |
8/20/2010 11:09 pm |
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30 Things to say to a naked guy!
1. I've smoked fatter joints than that. 2. Ahhh, it's cute. 3. Why don't we just cuddle? 4. You know they have surgery to fix that. 5. Make it dance. 6. Can I paint a smiley face on it? 7. Wow, and ... |
2 |
77 |
10 |
2.39 |
8/20/2010 10:05 pm |
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Mother of all Jihadish Jokes
Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over
a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat's milk.
The older of the two pulls a bag out of her purse and starts ... |
1 |
73 |
7 |
2.02 |
8/20/2010 3:27 pm |
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HOME REMEDIES............That Really Work
THESE REALLY WORK!!
AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING
SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLESWHILE YOU CHOP. ... |
2 |
47 |
8 |
2.09 |
8/20/2010 3:22 pm |
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On an airplane again
A Priest and a Rabbi were sitting next to each other on an
airplane.
After a while, the Priest turned to the Rabbi and asked,
"Is it still a
requirement of your ... |
3 |
71 |
5 |
3.47 |
8/20/2010 3:11 pm |
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'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'
Colonoscopy Journal:
I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to
make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram
of the ... |
0 |
50 |
1 |
3.70 |
8/20/2010 3:08 pm |
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This one is pretty good :-)
A naked man went down the street the other day and I thought
that's wired so I went and asked him. "where are
you going?" I asked, "fancy dress party"
he replied, "what you going as?" I asked, "a ... |
2 |
86 |
13 |
0.96 |
8/20/2010 6:56 am |
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Error Free
By following the instructions below, you should have error-free,
long-lasting floppy disks. Never leave diskettes in the disk drive, as data can leak
out of the disk and corrode the inner mechanics ... |
0 |
28 |
1 |
0.00 |
8/20/2010 2:57 am |
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Genie JOKE
Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are
out walking along the beach together one day. They come
across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will
give you each one wish, that's ... |
0 |
51 |
0 |
0.00 |
8/20/2010 2:55 am |
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How many is that
A redhead tells her blond sister, "I slept with a Brazilian."
The sister says "OMG you slut! How many is a ... |
0 |
60 |
1 |
5.00 |
8/20/2010 2:40 am |
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Life is tough. Even more so if you are stupid.
ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu
that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets . I asked for a half dozen nuggets. 'We don't ... |
3 |
105 |
13 |
5.32 |
8/19/2010 2:04 am |
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No age limit to being wild...
Life's Journey is not to arrive at the grave safely
in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally
worn out, shouting, 'Holy sh!t... What a ... |
2 |
86 |
11 |
3.54 |
8/18/2010 12:28 pm |
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My New Truck
My New Truck
I bought a new Chevy Avalanche And returned to the dealer
yesterday Because I couldn't get the radio to work. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated. ...
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3 |
114 |
20 |
2.36 |
8/18/2010 12:19 pm |
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pockets full of golf Balls
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full
of golf Balls And sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blond.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his ... |
1 |
108 |
8 |
3.25 |
8/18/2010 2:00 am |
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BBQ RULES
BBQ RULES WRITTEN BY A MALE CHAUVINIST PIG
We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important
to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime
outdoor cooking activity. ... |
10 |
112 |
30 |
1.97 |
8/17/2010 11:34 pm |
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Wife asks husband
Wife asks husband, "How many women have you slept with?"
Husband proudly replies, "Only you, Darling - With all the others, I was awake."
Hospital Visiting Hours are 10 am to 4 ... |
1 |
98 |
10 |
2.19 |
8/17/2010 11:24 pm |
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no storm can last forever
In all of nature, no storm can last forever.
A Cow, an Ant and an Old Fart are debating on who is the greatest
of the three of them.
The Cow: I give ... |
0 |
62 |
2 |
2.42 |
8/17/2010 5:29 pm |
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|
Remedies:
THESE REALLY WORK!! AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING
SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
2. AVOID ... |
0 |
29 |
2 |
3.81 |
8/17/2010 5:11 pm |
|
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Knock knock
Who's there?
Reply here and I'll tell ya who's ... |
1 |
52 |
6 |
0.23 |
8/17/2010 9:49 am |
|
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A Real Man
A real man is a woman's best friend. He will never stand her up and never let her down. He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day. He will inspire her to do things ... |
2 |
70 |
10 |
1.79 |
8/17/2010 2:09 am |
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Masturbating
A doctor told a man that masturbating before sex often help
men last longer during the act, The man decided, "What the heck, I'll try it."
He spent all day thinking about where to do it. He ...
|
1 |
120 |
11 |
2.79 |
8/17/2010 2:00 am |
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Monkey in a bar !
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a
drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all
around the place. He grabs some olives from the bar and eats them, then grabs
some ... |
7 |
133 |
38 |
2.16 |
8/16/2010 9:17 am |
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Viagra
ATTN as of august 2010 Viagra will only be know by its chemical
name
... |
3 |
105 |
20 |
3.00 |
8/15/2010 11:23 pm |
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HOW TO DRIVE YOUR WIFE CRAZY
HOW TO DRIVE YOUR WIFE CRAZY
Start asking her questions (don't mistakenly do anything)
about cooking, cleaning, and laundry. Say, "I think
it's time I learn to take care of myself. You know, ... |
2 |
99 |
8 |
2.09 |
8/15/2010 5:18 am |
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Do it yourself
A bishop, who was a keen DIY man, was watching a carpenter
at work in the house and trying to pick up the odd tip.
But the young carpenter found it a little off-putting and
shortly hit his ... |
0 |
67 |
3 |
2.45 |
8/15/2010 4:57 am |
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How would you die
WAS I SUPPOSED TO BE
Guy: If i saw u naked I'd die happy..
... |
1 |
49 |
3 |
2.45 |
8/15/2010 4:54 am |
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Trip
MARS TRIP
NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars.
Only one could go and couldnt return to Earth.
The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he
wanted to ... |
0 |
39 |
0 |
0.00 |
8/15/2010 4:49 am |
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New
NEW DRUGS FOR MEN
With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of DRUGs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today's society.
DIRECTRA - A dose of ... |
0 |
34 |
0 |
0.00 |
8/15/2010 4:44 am |
|
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porn star
A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is
asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present
at the birth. "I'm afraid I don't have a husband"
she replies "O.K. do you ... |
0 |
131 |
8 |
2.55 |
8/14/2010 9:06 pm |
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priest
A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes
pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine
months later, just about the time she is going to give birth,
a priest goes into the ... |
1 |
103 |
5 |
2.49 |
8/14/2010 9:03 pm |
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elderly italian
The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked
if the priest would hear his confession.
"Of course, my son, " said the priest.
"Well, Father, at the beginning of World ... |
0 |
61 |
4 |
3.25 |
8/14/2010 8:52 pm |
|
|
Hilarious
This boy has just taken his girlfriend back to her home after
being out together, and when they reach the front door he
leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, "Sweetie,
why don't you give ... |
2 |
90 |
9 |
1.93 |
8/14/2010 8:50 pm |
|
|
ugly is from within
A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming
truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their
maker, and because of the grief they have experienced;
He decides to grant them ... |
1 |
73 |
8 |
3.25 |
8/14/2010 3:16 pm |
|
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the blind pilots
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial
airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show
up so they can get under way. The pilot and co-pilot finally
appear in the rear of ... |
1 |
59 |
8 |
2.32 |
8/14/2010 3:11 pm |
|
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sign of the troubled economic times....(jesus heals)
An old Irishman walks into a bar, hauls his bad leg over the
stool, and asks for a whiskey. "Hey, " he says,
looking down the bar, "is that Jesus down there?"
The bartender nods, so the Irishman ... |
2 |
50 |
5 |
1.84 |
8/14/2010 3:09 pm |
|
|
the panda
A Panda Bear walks into a café and orders a sandwich and a
drink. After he is finished eating, the waiter comes over
to bring him the check. When the waiter arrives at the table,
he just starts to ... |
2 |
45 |
7 |
1.26 |
8/14/2010 3:05 pm |
|
|
gorrilla removal
A man wakes up one morning and there's a gorilla on his
roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's
an ad for "Gorilla Removers." He calls the number,
and the gorilla remover says ... |
2 |
50 |
8 |
2.78 |
8/14/2010 3:01 pm |
|
|
out of gas
A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog
for a walk around the block?" Mom says, "No, because the dog is in
heat." "What does that mean?" asked the
child. "Go ask your father. I think he ... |
2 |
53 |
9 |
2.57 |
8/14/2010 2:59 pm |
|
|
lotta balls....
A man boards an airliner, takes his seat, and is surprised
to find a large purple parrot in the seat next to him. The
aircraft takes off and a pretty flight attendant walks
down the aisle past the ... |
2 |
56 |
6 |
2.23 |
8/14/2010 2:56 pm |
|
|
Another (sort of) blonde joke
Know how to make a brunette angry?
Tell her you really like her pretty blonde ... |
0 |
66 |
2 |
1.04 |
8/14/2010 8:34 am |
|
|
Why Is Sex Like Riding A Bike?
1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.
2. It's best to wear protective head-gear when going
into unfamiliar territory.
3. You can do it with no hands, but it's ... |
3 |
43 |
3 |
2.94 |
8/14/2010 5:53 am |
|
|
Hilarious
A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front
seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would
have sex with him.
The nun, surprised by the question, politely ... |
0 |
80 |
4 |
3.63 |
8/14/2010 5:45 am |
|
|
Longest Scream
Three friends decided to bet each other $100 on who could
make their wives scream more from sex.
They all go home to have sex with their wives and make them
scream.
The next day the ... |
0 |
80 |
5 |
3.47 |
8/14/2010 5:39 am |
|
|
The Emotional Horse
One day a guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "if
you can make that horse over there laugh you can have free
drinks for the rest of the night".
So he says "ok" and walks over to the ... |
2 |
73 |
7 |
3.80 |
8/14/2010 5:36 am |
|
|
What time is is
On some bases, the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with
the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received
a call from an ... |
3 |
89 |
13 |
1.97 |
8/13/2010 4:41 pm |
|
|
Rednecks
Q: How can u tell if a girl is a genuine reneck? A: When she can suck a dick and chew tobacco at the same time
and know what to spit and what to swallow. Q: Whats a rednecks idea of safe sex? A: ... |
0 |
68 |
5 |
2.82 |
8/13/2010 4:08 pm |
|
|
25 Ways To Tell You're Grown Up!
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke
any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not ... |
6 |
84 |
16 |
4.16 |
8/13/2010 12:47 pm |
|
|
65 Year Old Woman
A 65 year old woman who has a baby with the help of a fertility
specialist.
All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member
of their family.
When they ask to see the ... |
0 |
56 |
5 |
3.14 |
8/13/2010 5:23 am |
|
|
PLAYA MOVE
One evening Terry went over to his boy Tony's house
to play cards with some friends.Terry sat directly across
from Tony's wife. Terry dropped a card on the floor and bent down to pick it
up.When he ... |
0 |
63 |
2 |
5.20 |
8/13/2010 3:45 am |
|
|
The welfare office !
A young man walked into the local welfare office to pick
up his check. He marched straight up to the counter and said,
' Hi. You know, I just HATE Drawing welfare. I'd
really rather have a job.' ... |
5 |
123 |
28 |
4.27 |
8/12/2010 7:57 pm |
|
|
Penis van Lesbian
A good looking man walked into an agent's office in
Hollywood and said "I want to be a movie star."
Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had
the right credentials.
The agent ... |
2 |
95 |
8 |
3.25 |
8/12/2010 10:39 am |
|
|
Husband Down
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal*Mart.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their
cart. 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the
wife. 'They're on sale, only ... |
3 |
130 |
17 |
4.40 |
8/12/2010 9:55 am |
|
|
SLIP THROUGH
A man was sitting at a bar, morosely staring at his untouched
beer. The bartender walked over with a sigh, and asked "What's
the problem, pal?"
"My brother just told me that there's a sperm ... |
0 |
80 |
1 |
5.00 |
8/12/2010 2:57 am |
|
|
NEED A NEW LAWYER
Warning Signs that you Might Need a Different Lawyer
Your lawyer tells you that his last good case was of Budweiser.
When the prosecutors see your lawyer, they high-five each
other. ... |
0 |
38 |
1 |
2.40 |
8/12/2010 2:54 am |
|
|
Traveling
TRAVELING ON THE TRAIN
There was an Irishman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer
sitting together in a carriage in a train going through
Tasmania. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel ... |
0 |
41 |
1 |
3.70 |
8/12/2010 2:52 am |
|
|
GOT HERE IN TWO
A golfer set up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing
and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and
saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit
through. ...
|
0 |
55 |
2 |
1.73 |
8/12/2010 2:50 am |
|
|
Da end be near !
Reverend Boudreaux was the part-time pastor of the
local Cajun Baptist Church and Pastor Thibodaux was the
minister of the Covenant Church across the road.
They were both standing by the ... |
3 |
121 |
17 |
4.40 |
8/10/2010 12:42 pm |
|
|
GOT ANY GRAPES?
A ducks walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"
The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar
doesn't serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves.
The next day, ... |
1 |
108 |
3 |
2.45 |
8/10/2010 3:08 am |
|
|
JUST THE FACTS
The following exchange happened last March 5 on the show
"Politically Incorrect, " between Bill Maher,
the host, and lawyer Leslie Abramson, who defended the
Menendez brothers:
Bill: When do ... |
0 |
56 |
0 |
0.00 |
8/10/2010 3:04 am |
|
|
New Panties
A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an
attempt to spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on,
together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite
her husband. At ... |
0 |
116 |
1 |
5.00 |
8/10/2010 2:40 am |
|
|
Jewish Divorce...
A Jewish woman says to her mother, "I'm divorcing
mark ! All he wants is sex, and my vagina is now the size of
a 50 cent piece when it used to be about the size of a nickel."
Her mother says, "You're ... |
0 |
114 |
7 |
4.06 |
8/9/2010 4:47 pm |
|
|
MONKEY IN BAR
MONKEY IN BAR
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer.
He sips it and sets it down a monkey swings across the bar
and pisses in the pint.
The man asks the barman who owns ... |
0 |
91 |
3 |
0.98 |
8/9/2010 3:10 am |
|
|
Having had one too many
Having had one too many, a bar drinker was beginning to display
an ugly side.
An unescorted female sat down beside him and he whispered
to her, "Hey ! How about it babe ? You and me ?" ... |
0 |
86 |
2 |
3.81 |
8/9/2010 3:06 am |
|
|
Do you still get horny?
WHO DRIVES YOU?
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing
nothing.
One old lady turns to the other and asks, "Do you still
get horny?"
The other replies, "Oh ... |
0 |
97 |
0 |
0.00 |
8/9/2010 3:05 am |
|
|
MAN-EATING TIGER
Murphy and Paddy were in their local pub having a pint or
two.
Murphy is looking very puzzled.
"What's up?" asks Paddy.
"Well I was just wondering if you had ever seen a ... |
0 |
63 |
1 |
1.10 |
8/9/2010 3:02 am |
|
|
John Wayne
JOHN WAYNE
An Indian (Native American) walks into a trading post and
asks for toilet paper.
The clerk asks if he would like no name (generic), Charmin,
or White Cloud.
... |
0 |
80 |
1 |
5.00 |
8/9/2010 2:59 am |
|
|
happiness is....
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm, and
then have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated.
When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. A dozen
babies are in the ward, ... |
3 |
120 |
11 |
3.17 |
8/8/2010 12:51 pm |
|
|
raisin bread
A bakery owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear
very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man
comes into the store, glances at the clerk and glances at
the loaves of bread ... |
1 |
98 |
6 |
3.08 |
8/8/2010 12:26 pm |
|
|
declassified military strategy
Bush and Powell were sitting in a bar. A guy walked in and
asked the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell?"
The barman said, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walked over and said, ... |
1 |
76 |
2 |
1.04 |
8/8/2010 12:15 pm |
|
|
the rythm method
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed
away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house
to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her. When
she asked how her grandfather ... |
1 |
75 |
3 |
2.45 |
8/8/2010 12:10 pm |
|
|
the dance
There was this really old guy at a dance who hadn't had
any sex for a long time. He'd been dancing with the grandmas
all night, but he still hadn't scored.
Frustrated, he approached an old ... |
1 |
78 |
2 |
1.04 |
8/8/2010 12:07 pm |
|
|
Forgetting the "R"
A new monk comes to the monastery assigned to helping the
older monks in copying old canons and laws of the church
by hand. He notices, that all of the monks have been making their
copies from ... |
1 |
84 |
2 |
1.04 |
8/7/2010 9:03 pm |
|
|
Dog vs men
WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN
Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
Dogs miss you when you're gone. Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.
Dogs don't criticize ... |
1 |
68 |
5 |
1.19 |
8/7/2010 2:09 pm |
|
|
Men's rules
1. The Female always makes The Rules.
2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior
notification.
3. No Male can possibly know all The Rules.
4. If the ... |
0 |
34 |
0 |
0.00 |
8/7/2010 2:08 pm |
|
|
Men are like:
Men are like......
.....placemats they only show up when there's food on the table.
.....mascara they usually run at the first sign of emotion.
.....bike helmets they're ... |
0 |
19 |
0 |
0.00 |
8/7/2010 2:05 pm |
|
|
Men are like:
Men are like......
.....placemats they only show up when there's food on the table.
.....mascara they usually run at the first sign of emotion.
.....bike helmets they're ... |
0 |
9 |
0 |
0.00 |
8/7/2010 2:02 pm |
rfarty, 37 C
8/7/2010 1:59 pm
1
Article,
Score
0.0
|
|
3 men & their penis's
A tribe of female savages captured 3 men and said that their
penises would be removed in a manner related to their job!
1st man was a lumberjack -so his was chopped off. 2nd man
was a butcher -his ... |
1 |
149 |
8 |
3.01 |
8/7/2010 1:59 pm |
|
|
THE SECRET
Two older men are sitting on a park bench talking and one
of them asks the other about his sex life. The man answers
that he has an excellent sex life and is still very active.
The other man ... |
1 |
177 |
9 |
3.43 |
8/3/2010 2:19 pm |
|
|
thanks ronald!
A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends
$5, 000 and feels really good about the result. On his way
home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the ... |
0 |
121 |
9 |
4.07 |
8/3/2010 2:17 pm |
|
|
NOT!
A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful
woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "Can
I smell your pussy?" The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly
not!" ... |
1 |
138 |
10 |
3.19 |
8/3/2010 2:14 pm |
|
|
ill do it!
Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds
one for a great price, but it's missing a seal, so whenever
it rains he has to smear vaseline over the spot where the
seal should be. Anyway, ... |
4 |
120 |
11 |
5.97 |
8/3/2010 2:13 pm |
|
|
take your choice
A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely
wife, "Wife, we're going fishing this weekend,
you, me and the dog." The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!"
"Look! We're going fishing ... |
1 |
130 |
6 |
3.37 |
8/3/2010 1:58 pm |
|
|
the camel
There was a guy riding through the desert on his camel. He
had been travelling so long that he felt the need to have
sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert so the man
turned to his camel. ... |
0 |
89 |
4 |
2.47 |
8/3/2010 1:57 pm |
|
|
blind date
BLIND DATE
Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would
you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe. "I want
to get weighed, " she said. They ambled over to the
weight guesser. He guessed ... |
0 |
95 |
5 |
3.80 |
8/3/2010 1:53 pm |
|
|
THE COKE MACHINE
There was a beautiful young blonde at a soda machine in Vegas,
and she arrived there just before a business man coming
to quench his thirst.
She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied ... |
0 |
120 |
1 |
2.40 |
8/3/2010 7:38 am |
|
|
COMPUTER CAMP
Dear Mr. Johnson:
Ann Landers wouldn't print this. I have nowhere else
to turn. I have to get the word out. Warn other parents. I must
be rambling on. Let me try and explain.
... |
1 |
124 |
5 |
3.14 |
8/2/2010 5:39 am |
|
|
What age has to do with it...
THE STAGES OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa - half discovered,
half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe - ... |
2 |
127 |
15 |
4.36 |
8/1/2010 5:19 am |
|
|
legend of the dragons
Chinese man had three daughters, he asked his eldest daughter
what kind of man she would like to marry.
"I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his
chest, " said the eldest ... |
0 |
108 |
8 |
3.71 |
7/31/2010 9:19 pm |
|
|
worth $5 million dollars?$
The mayor of Phoenix was very worried about a plague of pigeons
in Phoenix.
The mayor could not remove the pigeons from the city. All
of Phoenix was full of pigeon poop. The people of ... |
0 |
81 |
7 |
4.82 |
7/31/2010 8:29 pm |
|
|
mothers at lunch
Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over
a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat's milk. The older
of the mothers pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping
through photos. And ... |
0 |
89 |
4 |
3.63 |
7/31/2010 8:24 pm |
|
|
GOD BLESS AMERICA
Two terrorists are in a locker room taking a shower after
their bomb making class, when one notices the other has
a huge cork stuck in his butt.
If you do not mind me saying, " said the ... |
0 |
88 |
2 |
2.42 |
7/31/2010 8:21 pm |
|
|
the astronaut and the inmdian chief...
When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, it did some
astronaut training near a Navajo Indian reservation.
One day, a Navajo elder and his son came across the space
crew. The old man, who spoke ... |
0 |
59 |
1 |
2.40 |
7/31/2010 8:18 pm |
|
|
an old arab gardener
An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years.
He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but
he is alone, old and weak. His son is in college in Paris,
so the old man ... |
0 |
58 |
1 |
3.70 |
7/31/2010 8:12 pm |
|
|
the three black men
At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife
were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.
The painting depicted three black men totally naked sitting
on a park ... |
0 |
85 |
2 |
5.20 |
7/31/2010 7:48 pm |
|
|
this one is for MEN ONLY !
"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out
with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom,
and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning
or are you flying somewhere?"
... |
0 |
53 |
4 |
1.69 |
7/31/2010 7:41 pm |
|
|
a dumb joke about blondes....
One winter morning at breakfast a couple was listening
to the radio. They heard the announcer say, "We are
going to have 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park your
car on the even-numbered side of ... |
2 |
91 |
7 |
5.08 |
7/31/2010 7:33 pm |
|
|
the lost ball
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes
and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally
the doctor asks him what happened. Well, it was like this, said the man. I was ... |
2 |
92 |
14 |
5.06 |
7/31/2010 7:31 pm |
|
|
aviation safety....the lil black box.
There were 3 girls on a plane thats about to crash.
The American girl puts on her makeup, "Rescuers will
save a beautiful girl first" she said.
French girl opens her bra, "Rescuers ... |
0 |
65 |
3 |
3.43 |
7/31/2010 6:42 pm |
|
|
"lil johnny"
A pretty teacher was concerned with one of her students.
Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little
Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"
"I'm in ... |
0 |
70 |
1 |
3.70 |
7/31/2010 6:22 pm |
|
|
one more time....
How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle? Shine a light into her ... |
0 |
40 |
1 |
2.40 |
7/31/2010 5:56 pm |
|
|
just a few blonde jokes....
Why are blondes only allowed 30 minute lunch breaks? It takes too long to retrain them if they take an hour.
What does a blonde say after her doctor tells her that she's
pregnant. Is it ... |
0 |
48 |
3 |
2.94 |
7/31/2010 5:53 pm |
|
|
man bashing....(for the fun of it )
Men are like fine wine: They all start out as grapes, and
it is your job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until
they mature into something you'd want to have with
dinner.
Men are ... |
0 |
31 |
0 |
0.00 |
7/31/2010 5:42 pm |
|
|
in need....
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he/she
isn't there the first time you need him, chances are
you won't be needing him ... |
0 |
17 |
0 |
0.00 |
7/31/2010 5:37 pm |
|
|
Lawyer Joke
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten
husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please
be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled ... |
1 |
98 |
7 |
4.31 |
7/31/2010 9:17 am |
|
|
JOKES ABOUT DUMB IRISHMEN
The blind farmer was often taken for a walk in the fields
by a kind neighbor. However kindly the neighbor might have
been, he was undoubtedly a coward. When a bull charged towards
them one day, he ... |
0 |
58 |
0 |
0.00 |
7/31/2010 3:03 am |
|
|
REDNECK QUICKIES
You might be a redneck if...
You're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking
when it gets light.
On your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys
to the tractor. ... |
0 |
42 |
0 |
0.00 |
7/31/2010 3:00 am |
|
|
SOOO... BLONDE
She was soooo blonde...
* she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
* she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
* she sold the car for gas money. ... |
0 |
40 |
2 |
3.81 |
7/31/2010 2:58 am |
|
|
Why do you have all those knives
JUST A JUGGALO
A man is driving home, when is pulled over by a patrolman
for a broken blinker. The cop looks into the guys' car
and sees a collection of knives in the backseat. "Sir, " the ... |
0 |
54 |
1 |
3.70 |
7/31/2010 2:56 am |
|
|
couple joke
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th
anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening
25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you
first saw my naked body ... |
3 |
130 |
18 |
4.49 |
7/30/2010 9:51 am |
|
|
Ear to the ground
NATIVE AMERICAN HEARS
A family was visiting an Indian reservation when they happen
upon an old tribesman laying face down in the middle Of the
road with his ear pressed firmly against the ... |
0 |
62 |
5 |
2.16 |
7/30/2010 3:23 am |
|
|
Which?
WHICH TO SHOOT?
You are in a room with a mass murderer, a terrorist and a lawyer.
You have a gun with only ... |
1 |
80 |
6 |
2.51 |
7/30/2010 3:20 am |
|
|
Do you?
DO YOU WANT TO GO TO HEAVEN?
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the
first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
The man said, "I do father."
The ... |
1 |
74 |
9 |
5.35 |
7/30/2010 3:16 am |
|
|
WHEN I SAY I'M BROKE - I'M BROKE!
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a
vacuum cleaner..
'Good morning, ' said the young man. 'If
I could take a ... |
4 |
91 |
8 |
5.10 |
7/30/2010 2:12 am |
|
|
Ugly old guy
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. He tries to make smalltalk
with a cute blonde sitting at the bar, but she ignores him
and then gets up and goes over into the far corner. He tries
to make ... |
0 |
125 |
5 |
2.16 |
7/29/2010 9:15 pm |
|
|
The "Love Dress"
A woman stopped by her daughter-in-law's house, gave
a quick knock on the door, then walked in. Once inside, she
noticed the curtains were drawn, there was soft music playing
and and a strong scent ... |
1 |
100 |
5 |
2.82 |
7/29/2010 4:53 pm |
|
|
Deep In the back woods
Deep In the back woods, a hillbilly's wife went into
labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called
out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity,
the doctor handed the ... |
4 |
88 |
10 |
3.98 |
7/29/2010 4:37 pm |
|
|
bring it on!!
The pick-up couple was relaxing after a satisfying session
of love making. The guy considered himself lucky to have
been able to attract and bed such a luscious looking dish.
He was even considering ... |
0 |
79 |
2 |
3.81 |
7/29/2010 3:01 am |
|
|
bad bank service
A man walks into a bank, and after waiting for 20 minutes
in line, he goes straight to a customer service rep. and
says, "Hey, lady, I got this here check for deposit
and I'll be goddamned if I am ... |
0 |
75 |
7 |
3.80 |
7/29/2010 2:59 am |
|
|
Government Work
A guy went to the Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asked him, "Are you allergic to anything?"
He replied, "Yes caffeine." "Have you ever been in the military service?"
"Yes, ' he ... |
0 |
90 |
5 |
2.16 |
7/28/2010 8:00 am |
|
|
Married in heaven
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident...
The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates
waiting for St. Peter to process them into ... |
1 |
97 |
9 |
4.92 |
7/28/2010 2:08 am |
|
|
MAKE JOKES
MAKE JOKES IN MANY TIMES IN YOUR LIFE BECOUSE THAT RELIEF
ALL BAD FEELINGS OF YOU AND GIVE FRESHNEES TO ... |
1 |
23 |
4 |
0.14 |
7/27/2010 4:39 am |
|
|
Shopping for a Husband!!!
A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman
may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store
is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive
attributes as the shopper ... |
3 |
128 |
12 |
2.62 |
7/27/2010 1:43 am |
|
|
Quality vs Quantity
The commanding officer at the Russian military academy
(the equivalent of a 4-star general in the U.S.) gave a lecture
on *Potential Problems and Military Strategy.* At the
end of the lecture, he ... |
0 |
71 |
4 |
1.30 |
7/26/2010 2:46 pm |
|
|
The grandparents !
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his
9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, 'Do
you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?'
The little boy nodded in the ... |
3 |
116 |
13 |
2.30 |
7/26/2010 8:33 am |
|
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Dorothy and Edna !
Dorothy and Edna, two 'senior' widows, are
talking.
Dorothy: ''That nice George Johnson asked me
out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and
I wanted to talk with you ... |
1 |
82 |
10 |
2.79 |
7/26/2010 8:15 am |
|
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Skillet & Leroy !
Skillet & Leroy saw an ad in the Starkville Daily
News Newspaper in Starkville, MS. and bought a mule for
$100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day.
The next ... |
3 |
82 |
16 |
2.39 |
7/26/2010 8:05 am |
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no jokes
i dont joke a round cause im that ... |
3 |
48 |
7 |
0.00 |
7/26/2010 3:15 am |
|
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Going To Mars
NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars.
Only one could go and couldn't return to Earth.
The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he
wanted to be paid for going. ... |
0 |
86 |
4 |
1.69 |
7/25/2010 3:38 pm |
|
|
An Irishman's customs
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints
of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip
out of each one in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the ... |
0 |
85 |
6 |
2.23 |
7/25/2010 2:53 pm |
|
|
Always Been a Doubt
A man is talking to his best friend about married life.
"You know, " he says, "I really trust my wife, and I think she has always been faithful to me. But
there's always that doubt." ... |
0 |
83 |
2 |
3.12 |
7/25/2010 12:22 pm |
|
|
Day At The Adult Store
Day At The Adult Store
A white woman walks into a sex shop and approaches the counter.
She asks, "How much for the white dildo?"
He answers, "$35."
"How much for the black ... |
0 |
106 |
4 |
3.25 |
7/25/2010 12:15 pm |
|
|
CARSTIANITY
"Haul a Yugo. Haul a Yugo."
Gearly beloved, we are Blazered here in the name of our Four-door,
who art in Half-ton.
I'm speaking of our lord and Mazda, Jeep-sus Chrysler.
... |
0 |
27 |
0 |
0.00 |
7/25/2010 5:21 am |
|
|
THE GOLDEN TOILET
THE GOLDEN TOILET
A group of guys are on their way to a party, but couldn't
quite remember the address to the house. ''I'm
sure this is the one, " said the driver. ''Well,
I have got to go ... |
0 |
66 |
0 |
0.00 |
7/25/2010 5:12 am |
|
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WHAT A MAN WANTS
A husband, wife and their seven-year-old son walk into
an ice-cream shop. The dad says "I'll have a chocolate
cone, and my wife here will have a vanilla."
He then slaps his son on the back ... |
3 |
211 |
18 |
1.76 |
7/25/2010 2:38 am |
|
|
DEAF MEN IN A BAR
A man was sitting in a bar and noticed a group of people using
sign language. He also noticed that the bartender was using
sign language to speak to them.
When the bartender returned to him, ... |
0 |
92 |
3 |
2.94 |
7/24/2010 3:02 pm |
|
|
three questions
What are the three questions most commonly asked by lawyers?
1. How much money do you have?
2. Where can you get more?
3. Do you have anything you can sell? ... |
1 |
49 |
2 |
1.04 |
7/24/2010 2:58 pm |
|
|
WHEN CHOOSING A MATE
When Choosing A Mate, Compare These Other Professionals
To Computer Engineers
DOCTORS ------- Supposedly, all women are after a Doctor, so don't
expect your relationship to last more than 5 ... |
0 |
56 |
1 |
1.10 |
7/24/2010 2:55 pm |
|
|
FLAGS AND TAXES
FLAGS AND TAXES
A visitor from The Netherlands was chatting with his American
friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white
and blue in the Netherlands flag.
"Our flag ... |
1 |
45 |
2 |
3.12 |
7/24/2010 2:47 pm |
|
|
Blowjob Etiquette
1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it. 2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful. 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw,
it is not standard practice to ... |
0 |
73 |
4 |
3.25 |
7/24/2010 2:45 pm |
|
|
Top 47 Reasons for women NOT To Have Sex
1. The pitter patter of little feet 2. Never let 'em see you sweat 3. Your parents might realise that you're not 12 years
old anymore 4. Naked men 5. Guilt, guilt, and GUILT 6. You might like it 7. ... |
0 |
35 |
1 |
0.00 |
7/24/2010 2:43 pm |
|
|
BUSINESS ONE-LINERS
In every work of genius we recognize our rejected thoughts.
In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't
need it.
In spite of all evidence to the contrary, the entire ... |
0 |
25 |
0 |
0.00 |
7/24/2010 2:41 pm |
|
|
SEX AT 73!
SEX AT 73!
I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 73!
I'm sooooo happy, because I live at unit 67.....so it's not far to walk home ... |
0 |
30 |
0 |
0.00 |
7/24/2010 4:18 am |
|
|
A Girls First Time
As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for
a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed
as he approaches you.
He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head ... |
1 |
130 |
7 |
2.02 |
7/24/2010 12:22 am |
blfan, 31 F
7/23/2010 9:33 pm
1
Article,
Score
0.0
|
|
cute, but clean
Taken from the movie "Brothers" :
Q--why did the little girl blush when she opened the fridge?
A--she saw the salad ... |
2 |
64 |
5 |
0.53 |
7/23/2010 9:33 pm |
|
|
Rye Bread
Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual
park bench one morning.
The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't
even short of breath.
The 80 year ... |
1 |
82 |
7 |
2.53 |
7/23/2010 3:29 pm |
|
|
The Black Bras
The Black Bra (as told by a woman)
I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged,
one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.
We were chatting ... |
4 |
152 |
17 |
5.25 |
7/23/2010 12:23 pm |
|
|
Getting Old
Two medical students were walking along the street when
they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He
was stiff-legged and walking slowly.
One student said to his friend: "I'm ... |
0 |
95 |
8 |
4.17 |
7/23/2010 12:09 pm |
|
|
Speeding
A mature (over 50) lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? ... |
2 |
117 |
12 |
5.45 |
7/23/2010 11:48 am |
|
|
Lay Off Letter
Dear Employees,
As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself
to the fact that Barrack Obama is our President and that our taxes and
government fees will increase in a BIG way. ... |
2 |
81 |
8 |
3.94 |
7/23/2010 11:42 am |
|
|
The Haircut
One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut.
After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied,
'I cannot accept money from you , I'm doing community
service this week.' ... |
0 |
66 |
7 |
4.31 |
7/23/2010 11:30 am |
|
|
Saying Goodbye to Mother
You don't have to own a cat to appreciate this one! You
don't even have to like 'em!
We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party.
We turned on a night light , turned the ... |
0 |
78 |
3 |
5.39 |
7/23/2010 11:27 am |
|
|
Interstate
This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left
and there was a
Woman
In a brand new Cadillac
Doing 65 mph
With her Face up next to her ... |
0 |
50 |
0 |
0.00 |
7/23/2010 11:20 am |
|
|
Wine
To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine.. .
And those who don't and are always
seen with a bottle of water in their hand.
As Ben Franklin said:
In wine there is ... |
0 |
30 |
1 |
5.00 |
7/23/2010 11:17 am |
|
|
The Married Couple
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's
face was severely burned.
The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft
any skin from his body because he was too skinny. ... |
0 |
50 |
1 |
5.00 |
7/23/2010 11:15 am |
|
|
The Pickled Penis.
There was this lady and she really wanted to have sex, but
she was to scared to ask her husband so she went to a jipsy
and told her her problem.
The jipsy rummaged around in a chest and ... |
1 |
79 |
7 |
3.04 |
7/22/2010 10:54 pm |
|
|
2 Old Gals
Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a
drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies
pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette,
and ... |
1 |
85 |
3 |
1.96 |
7/22/2010 2:54 pm |
|
|
jokes
an rs teacher asks her class whitch part of the body they
fought went to heavan first no one put there hand up so she
pointed at a litlle boy and said what do you think he said
i think your heart cos ... |
2 |
75 |
4 |
2.47 |
7/22/2010 12:23 pm |
